Breaking Dawn

Dont get me wrong. Most Twilight fans are bound to misunderstand. I did enjoy Breaking Dawn.

I loved it infact. I love the way it sits on my tiny ebony chest, perched over my ancient Vogues.I love leafing through my favourite parts, once, twice, a third time. I love the cover, the dramatic red and white chess set. I love the fact that its the main book on every teenage girls mind from here to Mars. I love Jacobs blond jokes and Renesmee's brown eyes. I love that Edward bit pillows and Esme bough them a house. I love Bella's reaction to her "before" car; the Mercedes and how she still misses her Chevy. Emmet's sexual innuendos crack me up. Alice's heroism astounds me and Jasper's irritation only intensifies my lil crush on him. Carlisle's ability to inspire respect in his enemy puts a smile on my face and I kind of like Aro and Caius because without the Volutri vampires dont make sense. Siobhan is a beautifully detailed miniature and the Romanions intrigue me to no end. Im absolutely longing for a book on Garret and Kate. Switching narrators was a stroke of inpiration. And most surprisingly I was touched by Edward's newly found relationship with Jacob. "My brother, My son". I cant help but feel wistful at the idea of their happy forever.

However inspite of all of this, as soon as I finished Breaking Dawn [by which I mean I re read a few hundred times] I crept to my bookshelves and tugged out Eclipse. I read the scene where Jacob kisses Bella and she finally gets it. I read the part where he runs off into the sunset. I wept a bit when Bella got her last dance with her best man.

I snap the book shut and place back on it pedestal very carefully. And then I pretend it never happened. I pretend that all my knowledge of the saga ended with Bella and Edward's wedding preparations and Jacob's murky future as he dissapears over the horizon. I pretend that Twilight ended with the last bitter sweet pages of Eclipse.

Because I cannot let go of the epic love triangle that was Edward, Bella and Jacob. I cant forget that Bella kissed Jacob and meant it. That she felt he was in this world her soulmate, her sun, her alternate futre. I cannot forget his certainity that he was exactly right for her. I like to think I like Jacob. But truth is Id rather have him miserably pining after Bella, running away to escape her, than happy with her daughter!

Had this book directly followed Twilight or New Moon I would have instantly adored it. I cant. I am still under the spell of Eclipse. Therefore I am very sorry but as far as I am concerned- Breaking Dawn never HAPPENED.

Thank you.